A Listening Ear - Meet the Volunteers Behind Newry Samaritans

The Samaritans Newry and Dundalk branch are putting out a call for volunteers for their hub at John Mitchel Place in Newry and Newry.ie called in with them recently to speak to some of their volunteers.

Currently the branch have 90 volunteers who could be speaking to people locally or from anywhere around the UK. Every 10 seconds a call is made to the Samaritans with a total of over 3,000,000 calls a year being received.

The branch would like to extend further into the night but need more volunteers to make that happen. Presently it is closed from 2am to 9am which is perhaps the time of greatest need for callers.

Samaritans’ vision is that fewer people die by suicide. The charity provides emotional support to anyone in distress, struggling to cope, or at risk of suicide throughout the United Kingdom and Ireland. They're most well known for their helpline where a caller can speak to a volunteer about anything that is causing them distress. 

Anyone can call or email them at any time of the day, 24/7, to talk about anything that is upsetting them or worrying them. Call 116 123 (free) or email jo@samaritans.org

Training

Volunteers are fully trained and once ready are asked to cover one shift a week and one night shift a month. Many friendships are made amongst the volunteers and some have been there for over 45 years and some are aged well into their 80's! Shifts are usually around three and a half hours.

For anyone thinking of joining the Samaritans volunteer Marie, 64, said "the thought is enough" You can just email or call them and even after training if it's not for you that's fine.

 "You learn so much. You bring a lot of your own life skills with you. We all come from different backgrounds, we're not all the same, but we're all qualified in different areas of our life. I don't mean academically, but there's qualifications we all carry, like a mother, a grandmother, It could be someone in university, someone at school, somebody working. It's just a vast array of people and everybody would be welcome to the branch." said Marie.

The support volunteers receive is incredible. First there is training for eight weeks, then role play, then listening in to an experienced volunteer and then you swap roles after 4 weeks and they listen to you for 4 weeks. After that when they say you're ready off you go!

Volunteering

Marie is married with 6 children and 14 grandchildren and was at a loose end in 2008 after selling a business. She was qualified as a clinical hypnotherapist and a business and personal life coach but wanted another challenge where she could help people. Over the years she has been in the Legion of Mary, volunteered at the Gateway Club and even did fasts to raise funds for tractors in Africa.

She joined up and was at Samaritans from 2008 to 2016 but following the passing of her daughter who had three children, at 35 it was just too much and she took a step back. The call was still there though and in September 2024 Marie came back on board and her 34 year old daughter joined up too.

Ned, 64, worked in financial services and retired in 2022. He volunteered for the Samaritans in Newry three years ago and hasn't looked back. His background is in IT and psychology. For the first six months oh his retirement he enjoyed life, playing golf, enjoying lie-ins etc but he thought to himself "there's more I could be doing". He has always been a people person, something he believes is key to being a volunteer. "You need to be interested in people and to be able to connect with people" he said.

"The last three years has gone by in a flash. Whenever you come in here to do a shift - you think you've got problems until you come in here, but I've no regrets". He's now involved in the leadership team and looks after IT in the branch.

He added "There's other opportunities here to help, not just volunteering. There's so many different things you can actually do, finance or communications or whatever. It's not just about volunteering. Whenever you come into the Samaritans they use your skills in many, many different ways."

A Listening Ear

Speaking of how shifts can go Marie said  "You could answer a call, and the call would go just like a lovely rose garden, everything, just lovely, and then all of a sudden, when you're giving the open questions - The most important thing as a volunteer is the listening ear, the empathy, not going in and fixing it for them, but allowing them to open up - And then all of a sudden, when you've built that rapport over that telephone call, they have in some way built up a bit of a trust, they may like the voice, they've been given a chance that they can talk, without being put down or without being told 'no, you're wrong you shouldn't say that'. And then all of a sudden all comes out."

"It's lovely, the way that you're able to walk through this journey with them and at the end of that call, they're thanking you for that call, 'I'm so glad that I rang and it means so much'. And you go away and you're thinking I'm glad that call has made a difference to that person." she said.

Not all calls are like that though and that's where the Samaritans team comes in. Teamwork is key. If you have a difficult shift there's a leader on your shift and a deputy director as well as a care team. As Marie explains: "It's an organisation that's there to look after not only the callers, but the volunteers."

Ned said "What surprised me is that we can get calls about anything. After I first qualified, I came in nervous as a kitten. You're trying to second guess what the night's going to bring, but you can't do that. You have to come in and just be prepared to accept the evening in terms of whatever it brings. And believe me, it can bring anything."

"One of the things I've noticed is that I would get themes across the night. It's happened to me maybe five or six times where I've had an evening of taking calls from the elderly or I've had an evening of abuse, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, child abuse. It's weird actually, that you get themes like that but you can't predict what's coming your way and you have to be open and ready to be receptive to whatever comes your way." Ned added.

It takes some callers a long time to speak about what is concerning them. He has spoken to someone for 45 minutes and is thinking the call is about to end when the caller 'drops the bombshell' as to why they've called "And you could be the very first person they've ever told that to."

"I feel honoured in a situation like that that someone could trust you to actually have that conversation with you." said Ned.

Never on Your Own

Calls aren't timed. Your shift could be over at 11pm but you could be still on a call to 1am because you don't know where the call is going to bring you. "Part of being a volunteer is that you can't be very rigid and stringent, where you think I'm going in here to do my shift and I'm going to be out through the door. That is not always the case." Marie said.

You're never on your own taking a call and the team leader is always there for a chat afterwards if you need one. "The role of leader is important, because at the end of a three and a half hour shift, you have an opportunity to phone them to decompress. Most nights you don't, it's okay but occasionally you do need to just go into another room, and just have a chat. The idea behind that is, you leave this building and you leave it here rather than take it home." said Ned

Tried to Make a Difference

Ned feels he has been extremely lucky in his life. He walked away from a head on car crash in 2012 and giving something back is very important to him. "It's being able to say that you've tried to make a difference to somebody else's life and you just hope you've done that in a positive way. You have to believe that you have, you have tried at least. If you can walk out of here with that feeling that's enough".

Having a good call with a young person in particular is very rewarding. "You just hope you've left somebody in a better place than they were at the start." Ned said.

"It's just a listening ear, non-judgmental and you're going to accept them for what they are" he added.

New Skills

Marie sees her volunteering as a way of building up new skills and friendships. "To know that you're on that call to make such a difference. To allow the caller just to be themselves, just to let them speak in their own language, with their own problems that somebody else would shun to one side or not think it's so important. They're so appreciative of that."

"It can be tough at times especially whenever people are at a very low point in their life, where they feel that there's no point in going on. That's a very strong call and it's very, very powerful at the end of that call, when you have been there for that person, to make the difference in their life that they do want to go on" she added.

Develop as a Person

Ned has no regrets and points out that volunteering with the Samaritans helps you develop at a personal level, your communication skills and your life experience. "I've learned so much about addiction and bereavement. I've lost people and I thought I really knew about it but I've learned so much. This is an opportunity to actually develop as a person and I think that's really important. I would encourage someone to phone and just talk to someone and if it's not for you it's no problem."

More Information

If joining the Samaritans Newry and Dundalk branch is something that interests you check out www.samaritans.org

You can also email them on newry.branchrecruitment@samaritans.org

If you need to call the Samaritans call for free day or night on 116123